Dear Coleen: I'm upset my hubby didn't defend me after 'fat' jibes

Dear Coleen

I’m not sure whether I might be overreacting, but three weeks ago, my husband and I were at a local dance competition with friends and, as we emerged, a group of young teens shouted rude names at me.

I’m a big lady, but a sensitive one.

My husband stood there meek as a lamb.

I felt myself go bright red and felt worthless next to our friends.

I felt he should have defended my honour like he used to when we were younger – I feel that let down.

He recently lost his job – his back is bad and he couldn’t hack it any more – so I’m around him all the time and it’s a relief to get to work.

I just wish he’d be a man and not this pathetic fool. Do you think I’m right to be so upset?

Coleen says

I understand your disappointment and humiliation.

However, how would you feel if he had defended you and then got beaten up?

At the end of the day, they are just words and there’s a lot to be said for walking away.

I know if I’d been in your position, I’d be telling my hubby to leave it because I wouldn’t want him to get into a fight.

However, if the incident has really made you question your husband’s feelings for you, then tell him you were hurt by it and talk it out.

But perhaps, in some respects, you are down about how you see yourself and this has triggered negative feelings.

As for this gang of teenagers, kids of that age can be very cruel, but they don’t mean anything to you.

They’re just silly immature idiots and probably hurled insults at someone else 10 minutes later.

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