Dear Coleen
I’m a 45-year-old man and recently I’ve been in two minds about my marriage. I’m down-to-earth and have been married for 26 years. I work hard and hardly ever go out.
Recently my wife has started being cruel and petty. For example, she’ll vacuum our room on my day off while I’m asleep, hide my phone, throw out my favourite clothes and so on.
I have a friend who is 31 and says she has had romantic feelings for me for some time.
I’ve never cheated with her or anyone else. She wants me to leave my wife and move in with her. I don’t know what to do? Please advise.
Coleen says
I don’t like how your wife is treating you and I certainly think it might be a good idea to separate for a while so you can both have some space to consider your marriage.
However, I don’t think you should just dump her and move in with this friend – 26 years is a long time to chuck away without proper thought.
Plus, you don’t know this other woman romantically – being mates is very different to being in a relationship with someone.
At the moment this friend is, understandably, making you feel great about yourself and desirable. And maybe those are things you haven’t felt in a long time.
However, it’s a big leap to just move in with her.
Spend some time on your own first to decide if your marriage is over and, if you come to the conclusion that it is, then see if a relationship could work with this woman.
But don’t just up sticks and move in with her.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems
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