Dear Coleen
I’ve been with my partner since we were very young and we have a child.
Generally, he is a good person but over the past few months he has fallen in with the wrong crowd and, as a result, has got into trouble with the police.
While on a night out he was involved in a ‘one-punch’ fight and broke a man’s jaw.
He is now looking at jail time and I feel completely broken by it.
As I said, he is usually of good character, holds down a full-time job and is a good dad to our son.
I just don’t know what I’ll do if he ends up going to prison. I’m feeling very alone.
Coleen says
What a very stupid thing to do. And he should be punished for breaking someone’s jaw. If he does get sent to prison it might actually be the best thing for him to wake him up to what he’s become and why he feels the need to compete with these other lads.
I’m sure he realises this now but, if not, explain that it’s not just his own life he’s ruining with this behaviour, but the lives of his partner and son.
Does he want his son to look up to him or to know him as a man who’s gone to prison for being violent?
I hope this is the wake-up call he needs.
But if he continues to hang around with this crowd then as a mum you have to put your son first.
Make it clear to your partner that he’s very close to losing his family.
It should be a stark choice between you and your son and this bunch of mates.
It’s also worth reminding him that his mates won’t be doing time with him – it’s him and his family who will suffer the consequences.
And be very clear that you might forgive him this time, but not if there’s a next time.
If he does go to prison, keep the focus on your son.
There should be plenty of friends and family members willing to support you, so you won’t feel alone and abandoned.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems
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